


Cause for alarm

by Hydro_City_Zone



Series: White Steven one-shots [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (White Diamond is Stevens Mom), Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pink Pearl is in Crystal Gem Pearl’s place, Pink Pearl is trying her hardest, Steven has issues, White Diamond Steven AU, Whites alter ego was Angel Aura Quartz, like some real big issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 23:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21346264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hydro_City_Zone/pseuds/Hydro_City_Zone
Summary: Steven goes through his morning routine.
Relationships: Pink Diamond’s Pearl & Steven Universe, Pink Diamond’s Pearl & White Diamond (Implied)
Series: White Steven one-shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538860
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62





	Cause for alarm

Beep beep

Shut up

Beep beep

SHUT UP!

BEWuuuzzt...

A harsh beam of light knocks the cookie-clock over. This isn’t the first time this tragedy will befall the poor sweet-treat alarm clock, and it won’t be the last. 

Steven was not a morning person by any means. Every morning, he begrudgingly drags himself out of bed and down the stairs. Some days, one of them gems would have already emerged from the temple by the time he woke. Today was not one of those days. The house was quiet, the only source of sound being the soft pattering of rain on the roof .

From there, his morning routine is simple.

Steven fills up the sink completely to the rim. He looks tiredly at his reflection in the water. He looks awful; large dark circles under his eyes only help to bring out his scowl. The gem on his forehead is glittering a pale yellow, betraying his sour mood to the world. He’d have to fix that later. Steven takes a deep breath before dunking his head into the cold water.

Next, he takes a freezing cold shower. He grunts as his messy hair is smoothed down, coming down over his face enough to cover his eyes. The hair issue doesn’t stop there, as once he dries his hair out afterwards, it poofs up in a fit of static. At least he can see now. Luckily this issue is easily fixed with a simple combing with a wet brush. 

As Steven puts down the brush he looks at himself in the mirror. The person he meets eyes with is a weak, pitiful child; a dissapointment.

“You’re going to be something absolutely perfect.” 

Those were the words his mother left him. 

She wanted him to be flawless, pure,  perfect. So why does he look so… pathetic? His grits his teeth at the reflection. He’s not good enough. He’s not good enough for her. He’s not good enough for anyone! Everyone expects him to be just like her, but he can’t. The yellow shine in his gem has grown stronger with his anger, glowing brighter and sharper. It’s giving him a headache.

In a fit of rage, he grabs the sides of his head and tugs on his hair. Why did Angel want this? Did she even want this? Has he misunderstood what she told him? Was he even more flawed than he thought he was? 

...Would she be disappointed in him?

Steven’s grip loosened on his messy locks as he slowly looked again at the disgusting image in front of him. What was  wrong  with him?

The yellow glow of his gemstone slowly faded, only to be replaced by a light blue as he sniffled. A few stray tears escape his eyes as he stares at himself, until he’s unable of looking at his own pitiful face anymore and collapses onto the sink. 

Steven cried. He cried and cried like a child. A weak, horrible, ugly little child. ‘ A real crystal gem wouldn’t cry’ he told himself ‘ Stop acting like a child.’ Steven stayed like that for a while, just a sad boy crying away the feelings he could never share, alone. After a long time, he forced himself to straighten up, wiping away any evidence of his meltdown from his face. He fixed the mess he’d made of his hair before taking one last look at himself in the mirror.  ‘Smile now, Steven’ he thought, putting on a happy facade.  ‘People won’t want to be around you if you’re not pleasant.’

With that, he left the bathroom, his gem still shimmering blue.

  
  


—

  
  


“What do you want me to be, Pearl?”

The question was so sudden it stopped the pink gem in her tracks. She was just about to reorganize all the figurines on his shelf when Steven blurted it out. Pearl looked over her shoulder at him. He wasn’t looking at her, but he had paused the game he was playing. He wasn’t looking at her  on purpose .

“Excuse me?” She stuttered

“I mean, what do you expect from me? What do you want me to be? To do?”

A pang of nostalgia ran through Pearl. Memories of times long before the rebellion. Times when White had said something similar to her fellow Diamonds. Times when she begged them to tell her what they wanted her to do. Hearing something similar come from Steven make her heart ache. If it was anything like how White felt when she said those things… then something was really wrong with her precious baby boy.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Steven.” She told him. “I suppose I want you to become a very strong gem someday!” She said with a weak grin. His shoulders raised a little bit before dropping back down. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“...Steven…” She placed the toys in her hands back onto the shelf, abandoning the idea of organizing them. Pearl gently sat on her knees next to him. He looked down at the floor, avoiding her concerned gaze.

“Steven, honey… where is this coming from?” 

“...”

She sighed, “Steven… can you please tell me-”

“I’m not her.”

She faltered. He never interrupted her. He never interrupted anyone.

Unless he was very upset.

She scrambled to find a response “Excuse me?”

Steven’s head shot up to meet her gaze with an intense glare. The white gemstone at the top of his head shone yellow and blue. “I’m not her, okay?!” Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, “You all expect me to be just like her! You all want me to be some flawless leader who’s got everything figured out like she did, but guess what?! I  can’t! I just can’t!” Steven breathed in and out ruggedly, trying to catch his breath. His anger spent, the yellow gave way to a flood of blue light in his gem. “I-I’m just a disappointment to you.” He sniffled “I-I’m a disappointment to  her too.”

The room went cold. Outside, the rain came down harder.

“Steven…” She slowly reached her hand out to touch his shoulder. When he didn’t stop her, she did so. “How long have you felt like this?”

Another sniff, then a half hearted shrug as he shamefully looked away. “A while.”

“Why-?”  Why didn’t you say anything , she wanted to ask, but she already knew the answer. He didn’t want to burden them.

Sometimes, he really was so much like her.

Pearl cupped his face in one hand, wiping a stray tear away. “...Steven, I don’t think you’re a disappointment,” she reassured him.

“She would’ve,” he muttered, a bitter tone in his voice she’d never heard before. “S-She wanted me to be perfect, just like her, b-but I just…” he trailed off, not finding the energy to finish the thought.

“Steven,” Pearl tilted his head to make him look at her, “Angel Aura wasn’t perfect; No one is.”

Steven hugged himself, “But she told me… she  wanted me to be…”

“She didn’t  want you to be anything!” She blurted out, immediately regretting how loud she said it when she saw Steven’s shocked expression.

“I-I mean-” Pearl stammered before collecting herself, “She didn’t want you to  be perfect, Angel believed that you already  would be.” When Steven did nothing but give her a confused stare, she went on. “Angel always used to say that humans were perfect. That because they were never expected to be anything more than what they wanted to be, they were extraordinary. All she wanted for you… was for you to be a human being.” Pearl ran a hand through his hair, “She just wanted you to be yourself, Steven.”

He looked down at his knees, still sniffling. Without looking up, he spoke again, voice so quiet it was barely there.

“You really think so..?”

“Oh Steven,” her heart broke for him, her precious little Steven… how could they not have noticed he was falling apart this whole time? She pulled him into her arms, cradling him like she once did when he was much smaller.

“I know so,”

Steven looked up at her with watery eyes, 

“Pearl?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think she’d be proud of me?”

“More than anyone,” she held him close to her chest.

Steven gave her a weak smile, wrapping his arms around her neck, “Well, I-I’ll just have to work hard so you’ll be just as proud as she would’ve been someday,”

She laughed softly, “You already have,”

For the first time that day, his gem shone pink, even if it was only a little bit.

  
  
  



End file.
